Trapperkeepers and such

I know it's totally lame for me to mention Miley in this post, since I talked about her in my last one, so I won't, BUT I saw the Hannah Montana movie tonight (with some of my youth. It's my job, people.) Embarrassingly enough, I thought it was really cute. I want to learn the barnyard dance. That is definitely on my list of things to work on next week (I'm pretty busy these days.)

Today, I was at wal-mart stocking up on random stuff, and I came to a realization. one that might sound kind of depressing, so grab onto your prozac for this one. just kidding. I'm hoping it will end up being somewhat uplifting in the end.

As I entered wally world, I was greeted by many signs that one of my favorite times of year is quickly approaching. That's right, folks, SCHOOL SUPPLY season will soon be upon us. I saw baskets full of glue sticks, binders, highlighters, erasers, PENCIL GRIPS, and all kinds of other goodies. I live for this time of year. How lame is that?

Well, I found myself lingering, wanting to stock-up on all these "must have's" that happened to be for a great deal (something else i live for-bargains- note to self: future blog). I should have prepared myself before going in there. I went in totally unexpecting to be bombarded with so many enticing learning tools. there should be therapy for this.

Enough dilly-dallying, back to the realization I came to... I am like a childless mother. I do not mean to make light of women who cannot have children. I simply found myself identifying with them. You always see women in movies (Juno comes to mind) who want children, so they begin to stalk up on baby gear "just in case." I am doing that with my classroom. It feels so unnatural to not begin the nesting process of preparing to teach. I feel lost without my classroom to organize and lessons to begin to prepare. I am on the runway waiting for the flight signal, and am ever-so-ready to take off. Will I ever leave the ground?

this is where I begin to freak out. what if I don't get a job? What if I never get to make a bulletin board (honestly, I don't like making them as much as i thought I would. It is actually quite a humbling process. Note to self: future blog "life lessons learned through creating a bulletin board")?

What if i don't have the opportunity to be the teacher I feel is inside me and just dying to come out?

ugh.

This all hit me as I stared at what might as well be Disney World on isle 9. School supplies. oh, how I love thee schoool supplies. I had reached a dilemma. Do I stalk up on these incredible bargains with the possibility that they might simply gather dust in a Rubbermaid supply drawer???

Yes. I bought the pencil grips. they were too fun to pass up, were a GREAT deal, and would be a fun treat for my students... wherever they might be. I also found a new thin tip sharpie that DOESN'T BLEED through the paper. incredible, i tell you! It seriously is one of my new favorite supply items.

There it is. no major revelation, and clearly it still isn't over.